Dec 19

Dec 19 Personal Policies of Yes

A few weeks ago I wrote about my Personal Policies of No: a list of questions/rules that could stand as an ongoing template to help guide my decision-making on what I say No to.

The next logical step was to figure out the Yes stuff and I thought it would be a breeze, but here I am, 3 weeks later, still trying to grasp it by the tail.

In a fit of desperation, I decided to try and reverse engineer my Yes based on my analysis of No. And you know what? I think it worked brilliantly.

Personal Policies of Yes

One of the big differences between my Policies of No and my Policies of Yes is that every item on the former’s list has veto power, while this latter list requires a unanimous vote: every delegate at the Yes Table must vote HELL YEAH for me to move ahead with the issue/voice/request. Make sense? Okay, here we go!

I will say Yes if ALL the following are true…

It’s something I have real power to influence the outcome of. Sometimes this might be just a tiny bit of real power (like voting in my local and national elections); sometimes this might be a bigger chunk of real power. For example, every day I have real power to influence my physical and mental health by saying yes to the right things (like exercise and water), or influence the life of someone close to me.
It utilizes one of my available skill sets. This rule applies to any field which I have the training to meaningfully participate in. Everyone’s list will look vastly different, but in case you’re curious, my skill set probably includes art direction, graphic design, performance, event/experience creation/curation, drinking cocktails, and staying up late.
It’s asking for something I currently have to give in good spirit. This includes not only time and money, but also genuine curiosity and interest. Giving in “good spirit” means my ability to give freely, happily, without any bitterness or strings attached.
It positively impacts one of my “must-haves”, i.e. things that keep me grounded, healthy and energetic. That daily list for me seems to include exercise, 8-9 hours of sleep, laughing with a human that I love, and time alone to meditate, write or read. *This policy also applies to positively impacting the “must-haves” of my inner circle of humans, provided it doesn’t violate any of the other policies listed here.
It adds to, validates, or is appreciative of my humanity or the humanity of someone else. As defined in my previous post, humane behaviour is marked by compassion and a consideration for every individual's right to dignity and worth (including your own): humanizing others is the path to humanity.

The final policies below are add-on perks. They don’t have to be affirmative for me to say yes, but they are definitely an added bonus:

It’s with good people I want to spend more time with. More than is this a good project/company/activity, I think the question should be are these good people that I want to spend time with? Do they bring out my best self?
It feels just a little bit scary: in other words, an opportunity that lives just outside my comfort zone. In a podcast I listened to recently (The Good Life Project in case you’re curious, highly recommend) Seth Godin talked about dancing with the opportunity that’s been presented to you. I don’t know if it’s just the dancer in me talking, but I think this is such a fucking gorgeous metaphor. Maybe it’s not the opportunity you would have chosen, maybe you don’t feel 100% ready for it, but maybe the dance is ready for you. Don’t let an opportunity to grow and experience the beauty of life pass you by.
It’s tapping into my creativity and authentic artistic expression. In the same podcast episode mentioned above, Seth proclaims that art is a generous act. If this is true, then every effort at artistic expression is an achievement of generosity, and I can’t think of a more powerful win-win situation.
It lights up the luciferin in my firefly belly. This ties into authentic artistic expression, but extends into other areas too – like deciding on the art that I want to watch and support, or even the books I want to read. For example, there are few things that delight me as much as an imagination that’s been allowed to run free, as demonstrated in books like Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, or Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. In fact, pretty much any fantastical story, plot, design, or pair of pants, and I’m all over it. Whatever it is that makes you happy in the world, the world could probably use more of, and you’re just the person to do it.