The perniciousness of work

I’m now one month into my sabbatical in London, which feels like a good time to take stock. One thing I’m reflecting on is that I don’t feel like I’ve fully launched into this sabbatical yet. And why is that?

The stickiness of work

I think one of the issues is that sticky modern day companion, work. Particularly the self-employed—but I would hazard a guess most of the working population these days—feels the creeping pressure to constantly check our email, the fear of saying No to a project or shift, the anxiety caused by not being busy when tomorrow is uncertain.

Just writing it makes me nervous. As a self-employed person, turning down work feels scary at the best of times, but turning down work for the express purpose of play? Terrifying.

What if clients leave me, replace me, don’t ask again? These are all real possibilities, but I think the wrong questions. Better questions I’m asking myself are: what do I have to gain from this break (both personally and creatively)? What kind of growth can I create from really diving into this sabbatical?

A change will do you good

I’ve been reminded a few times over the past weeks that there is no such thing as standing still: you’re either growing, or declining. At first this might sound a little threatening, but on a second glance it’s relieving: if nothing ever stays the same (no matter what you do or don’t do) at least it will always be interesting!

So many metaphors come to mind, but maybe building muscle is a good one. If you’re not regularly lifting weights, the muscle you’ve built up until that point doesn’t just stay (though wouldn’t that be amazing): muscle mass starts to drop in as little as 3 weeks of inactivity. You’re never standing still, there’s always change. In the famous words of Heraclitus, “There is nothing permanent except change.” The question is, which direction is this change happening?

For those who tend towards overworking, I feel compelled at this point to remind us all that constant work does not equal growth. Going back to the weightlifting metaphor, it would be like doing a million reps with a 10-pound weight. If you started at zero muscle, you’ll see some amazing results for the first bit, but then it will level off: to keep growing, you need to change the weight and reps. In other words, if the work you’re doing isn’t teaching you anything new at this point, then doing more of it isn’t going to contribute to your growth.

It’s not even that lifting the same weight day-in and day-out isn’t productive: muscles (and brains) need rest days. Like sleep, it’s really not optional: rest is a necessary ingredient for growth.

Easing into this sabbatical has become a daily meditation for me on letting go of work and making space for rest and play.

It’s hard work, but someone’s gotta do it ;)