“Needs More Ridiculous”
Have you ever spent some time wondering why so much of the adult world is… dull? I mean, just overflowing with uninspired, stressed-out, bored people?
There are many big problems in the world – political, cultural, economic, and environmental. It’s a serious, grown-up landscape, with serious, grown-up jobs and serious, grown-up catastrophes, and all of this should be dealt with very seriously.
But I can’t seem to shake a pesky thought about this approach to life – which is that it doesn’t work.
Adult life: one big, massive chore
It occurs to me that the reason the world feels so boring is because people are bored. Not just bored, exhausted at the thought of waking up and getting out of bed. They don’t see the fun in their work or their activism or their lives. It all feels like a massive chore, doesn’t it? We do things to satisfy other people’s expectations, fit into societal norms and existing frameworks, never feeling free to stop and ask, do I even believe in this? Is this how I want to be spend my short time on this earth?
In a world where we could have built reality to look like anything, the societal paradigm that humans chose was “Make Everything Feel Like Chores”??! Baffling.
Serious play
The worst bit is that treating our lives like drudgery is not even helpful. The research shows that the most productive type of serious comes from being seriously at play. Play contributes to different aspects of well-being, can help you cope with stress, and learn new skills more quickly. In other words, the more we see the “adult” aspects of our lives—work, activism, chores, duties, health goals, etc.—as drudgery, the less productive and less successful we are (and the faster we hit burnout).
So the question is: why do we continue to do it this way???
This is not a rhetorical question. I have no blasted idea why we have chosen the Life is an Awful Chore path when there are more interesting, creative, and effective path options out there. I would like to speak to the Manager, please.
A playful paradigm shift
We’ve built so many rules, admin, and musts into life. I find all these rules and general dreariness affect my ability to seriously play in my adult life. It simply won’t do.
So what is one to do?
We can break social norms, at our own peril, of course. Despite claims that the world is run by logic, reason, and the scientific method (which, reminder, shows that adult play increases our health, stress management, ability to learn new skills and solve problems), you’re sure to get condescending eye-rolls and glares from management if you (quite logically) demand more play in the workplace.
Play works, dammit! It makes us more resilient! Productive! It leads to fewer sick days! But so many businesses (and adults in general) won’t touch it with a 10-foot pole.
Not that I begrudge people their miserable lives if they really want to keep them (I know miserable sounds harsh, but so many folks do seem “wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable”, and also determined to keep it that way). But I do take issue with the justification that all this solemn tedium helps us get shit done, solve important problems, or improve quality of life.
More frivolity, please
I wish we created more room—in all parts of adult life—for games, fun, and (yeah, I’ll say it) frivolity. Yes, even in the deepest, most serious of spaces. Perhaps especially in those spaces.
Looking over my life to date, I realize that frivolity has been a through-line. I’ve hosted Philosophy Salons, created various clubs* (such as the Sweetness Club) and group dance choreographies of the most ridiculous proportions. Many of my life choices could be said to revolve around the question, does this make me laugh out-loud at the ridiculous delight of it all? I hide handwritten notes as reminders for myself in my sketchbooks and taped to the edge of my computer screen that say “Needs more ridiculous”.
Good pairings
Some separations are a very good thing. For example, the separation of church and state (case study: King Henry VIII – distinctly Not Fun for many people, including his six wives). But somewhere along the way we also accidentally separated some good pairings. Like comedy and tragedy. The serious and the ridiculous. The light and the heavy.
I used to be ashamed of my inability to be a “serious adult”, my pull towards a philosophy of the absurd. But you know what? The world needs more play, more creative thinking, more of my absurdity – if for no other reason than to balance out some of the inevitable tragedy and heaviness of life.
The goddamn serious science tells us so.
*I have SO MANY brilliant ideas for clubs that I still haven’t managed to manifest in my life. Like the “No Club”, where you practice saying no to things (and people) that don’t interest you; “Fail Club”, a space where all you do is splash around and chase interests like a scavenger hunt, failing like a champ (“The first rule of Fail Club is that you always talk about Fail Club”); “Misfit Pairs Club”, where you inextricably connect the work of unlikely pairs (artists with chemists, basketball players with chefs, oil execs with professional clowns) and see what they create; "No Kids Club”, where you simply go out with all your childless-by-choice friends and celebrate how great it is to not have kids.
