When Things Go Wrong
I think it’s safe to say that, at the very least, things have not gone right in the past few weeks.
The world economy has come to a halt, with the Coronavirus affecting more than 200 countries (and approaching one million people infected), the stock market has become a volatile mess, and most everyone I know has lost their job and is wondering how they will pay their bills next month.
With things bound to get worse before they get better, I’ve been contemplating what we will need to get through the coming months (besides Basic Universal Income, free and easily accessible health care for all citizens, safety, security and health, obv). My skill set, admittedly, lies in the more frivolous… and thus I present for you: 10 Perks to Being Isolated at Home in a Pandemic.
10 Perks to Being Isolated at Home in a Pandemic:
OMG, I’m being so frugal! Your spending costs absolutely plummet when the government announces that you’re not allowed to do any “non-essential” shopping. Who’s got time to shop anyways, when you’re busy spending your day depressed in bed stress-eating “essential” cookies?
The Deserted-Island-hypothesis. Remember that game? Now you get to learn what you would actually do if you were isolated for weeks, with no clear vision of when you will be saved (has your answer changed? Mine has become cookies).
Peak binge. Until they cut our internet off, we get to explore EXACTLY how much Netflix/Crave/HBO/YouTube tutorials/Instagram/Facebook is “too much” (answer: can’t stop, won’t stop).
Work/life balance. Puh-lease. We all know that doesn’t exist, BUT for once the scales tip towards “life balance”! You spend more time communicating (virtually) with your friends and family than ever before.
Shoe-free life. Fuck shoes! Amiright? Long live the fuzzy sock!
The joys of sweatpants. I will never wear real pants again.
No more FOMO. There is no longer cool shit happening anywhere in the world to be jealous of.
The hope of social change. No promises or predictions will be offered here, but you can taste the civil unrest and the promises that it might hold for actual change…
All the amazing hilarious coronavirus memes that you’re looking at instead of… working? Not sure what we are supposed to be doing with our time.
Bragging rights. One day you’ll get to be a crotchety old person talking about how you lived through the Pandemic of 2020.
